I'm In Rome, What Time Is It There?

Woke up in the hotel, it was already 6:30 in the evening.

After leaving Malta, I began to enjoy the feeling of traveling with someone, which was particularly rare (or ironic). I hadn't known what obstacles there were, but I couldn't seem to rely on someone else. At most, I could have one travel mate.

I met Santi in Malta with my disorganized friend Cai. Santi is a classic Spanish despite the well-organized part. He likes to plan everything. When we first met, he held a piece of paper filled with timetables. During that trip, I've experienced my first PROPER travel romance (even my heart being inexplicably broken for a while afterward.)

I had just arrived in Europe a month ago back then, facing culture shock every day. I don't even know how to speak Spanish properly, not knowing why I had made the decision to move to Valencia without zero Spanish level.

After experiencing a lot more and having more solo trips. I no longer say things like 'I may only come here once in my lifetime' or 'I may never have a chance to come back here again,YOLO.' I realized a few years ago that subconsciously, I didn't want to let myself feel sad. It's like after a breakup, we tend to say that the other person is not important anymore, but deep down we still care so much.

Three months later, I came back again, summer time in Malta to see S.

'Let's see what life will bring us.' he said.

He decided to stay in Malta after our first met, and I was no longer the inexperienced girl who was eager to try everything three months ago. We spent a very beautiful, and I would even say precious, weekend. It felt like an endless summer: having meals, diving, sunbathing, cooking dinner, lying in bed eating ice cream.

Actually, I had a second backup plan in mind, just in case, if there were any changes, it wouldn't matter if I didn't go to Italy. But we're not living in a novel, after all.

The other day in the morning, I still woke up early, rushing to the nearest bus stop, taking the first bus to the airport, choosing a seat by the window.

Luckily, I didn't have foresight. Luckily, life is like traveling, always taking one step at a time. Not being able to reach the place I most wanted to go, missing a flight, forgetting my belongings in the second-to-last row of the bus, my Google Maps never seems to work, accidentally getting a blister on my right foot, waking up alone on a deserted night bus—it all feels like a different world.

It's just that in this chaotic state, I met him and started to feel the beauty of traveling with someone. I can be lazy, be taken care of, be silly, and compromise. I enjoy watching him holding his phone and anxiously waiting for the bus. I told him that traveling is about being spontaneous. When I arrived alone in Rome, suddenly the emptiness multiplied, and I experienced the loneliness of long-term travel for the first time.

It's adventurous not to plan in advance, perhaps it's just one more reason to have a legitimate excuse to stay. In reality, after leaving Italy tomorrow, I won't have a plane ticket. I don't know if I should worry or not, but right now, I'm sitting in the hostel, listening to music, typing these words to you.

2018.05.21